Tag Archives: Catholic Church

How Shall We Proceed, Nibiru?

nibiruThe shocking death of Prince on April 21st formed a focal point whereby our discussion about chemtrails- and other stuff- swirled about.

Although I have been working on about four separate articles, it has been three months since I last posted here (this one has been backdated).  If you are awake- and having searched out information leading you to this blog post, I would speculate that you are- then I should not need to explain the exponential acceleration of disturbing events occurring since my last post or the bombardment of ominous news stories- each one more astonishing than the previous.  As the entire world blindly hurtles toward some inevitable calamity, there is a heavy sense of foreboding in the air.  It becomes difficult to pull the trigger and write about any one thing when one is constantly besieged on all sides.  For a blogger who is married with a tween daughter and works two jobs in the real world, days can quickly turn into weeks and weeks into months.  Ask me how the title for this blog post came to be or how it relates to the subject matter and I will tell you, I don’t know.  For me it has been a process of overcoming disillusion and fear.  Maybe it’s the effect of Planet X approaching or maybe it’s the chemtrails creating brain fog.  The point is, I used to ha-ha this stuff.  If I could ask Prince, I would.  I’m sure he’d have something thoughtful to say.  As it turns out, he was saying a lot- maybe too much.

As was the case just prior to the death of David Bowie, which I wrote about here, Prince had been on my mind.  I had recently heard on one of the podcasts I listen to that Prince had brought up the subject of chemtrails on the Tavis Smiley Show.  I knew that Prince was outspoken against the Illuminati and the entertainment industry in particular, so I reminded myself to look up the video on YouTube.  Sure enough, although it was from several years ago, I found it.  In an interview from 2009, Prince referenced comments by civil rights activist Dick Gregory at a State of the Black Union event in which he (Gregory) called into question whether the spraying of manganese was causing outbreaks of violent behavior in his community.  In the interview, Prince encourages everyone (especially white folks) to watch the State of the Black Union video and recalls his own experiences with chemtrails.  Several days after I watched the video, Prince was discovered dead in an elevator at his Paisley Park compound outside Minneapolis.  My wife and I marveled at the fact that we had just been talking about him and his comments about chemtrails.  Keep in mind that as the news of Prince’s death was breaking, I had already been casually keeping track of the chemtrailing here in Western Montana.

I’m a skeptic; I’ve avoided writing about chemtrails for years because, well, it sounds nuts.  It first came into focus for me Memorial Day 2014.  It was a mild, sunny day with clear, blue skies.  I was supervising my daughter as she played at the park.  As I looked up, I noticed two airplanes making repeat passes, leaving curiously long, slow-evaporating trails behind them.  I had heard about the so-called “chemtrails” at this point, but was still quite undecided on what I believed about them and the “conspiracy theories” that were out there.  I took video footage of the planes, as they flew back and forth, creating parallel rows of white clouds above me.  Ordinarily I would assume the trails were simply condensation trails or contrails, which are a completely normal phenomenon.  But over a period of several minutes, these trails slowly dispersed creating a thin white haze that lingered in the sky for well over an hour.  It seemed to me that sunny days were of particular interest to these pilots; whenever the skies were blue, out came the planes to create cloud cover.  Could this be part of a globalist scheme to cool the planet from the perceived threat of global warming?  As it turns out, this is not a wild conspiracy theory at all, in fact, the idea of spraying our skies to block solar radiation (SRM or Solar Radiation Management) has been discussed in scientific, military and government circles for decades.  Surely it has already been tested and is likely now being employed on an ever-increasing scale, as evidenced by increased public awareness- all you have to do is look up.  As Prince pointed out in his interview with Tavis Smiley, we have never seen our skies blanketed in jet trails like this before.

I have reviewed the evidence and considered the arguments against chemtrails by scientists and government agencies, who maintain that the so-called “chemtrails” are nothing more than ordinary condensation trails.  They claim that under the right atmospheric conditions (temperature, humidity and wind shear), jet contrails can linger in the sky for hours and also dissipate to form sheets of cloud cover.  Has the atmospheric temperature dropped significantly over the past twenty years?  Has there simultaneously been a dramatic increase in humidity?  Has commercial air traffic increased to such a degree?  Has the technology of jet turbines fundamentally changed?  The answer is no, no, no and no.  In my opinion, what has changed is the rapid deployment of various covert spraying programs, of which SRM is just one.  A vital step in the scientific method is observation.  If people have been observing jet trails for years and they have always appeared the same, why the cause for alarm?

Keep in mind, this is Western Montana, not Los Angeles or New York.  We are not situated near any major international airports, and commercial flights through the airspace above us is very infrequent.  I wondered, how is it that I am seeing multiple planes (sometimes up to four or five) flying over me within a period of thirty minutes?  If I were to do a more in depth investigation, I would look up flights, destinations, departure and arrival times and compare them with what I was observing in the sky above me, but I was fairly certain they wouldn’t match up.  Were they military flights?  After trying out the Siri feature on my wife’s iPod which allows you to ask, “Hey Siri, what flights are above me now?” It became obvious that Siri was just cross-referencing a flight schedule with any reported delays and not tracking the physical location of the planes or even a specific flight path.

So the technology exists.  The motive exists.  It was only recently that I learned of already disclosed “cloud seeding” operations which have been utilized for agriculture on a local scale for years.  Then there is Operation Popeye during the Vietnam War, in which the U.S. military seeded clouds with lead iodide and silver iodide in an effort to extend the monsoon season and hinder traffic along the Ho Chi Minh Trail.  Looking further into the chemtrail phenomenon, I discovered some amazing facts.  One of which are the hundreds of patents taken out for weather manipulation technology and aerosol dispersion systems for aircraft.  The overwhelming amount of evidence for the existence of such technologies and their use easily defeats blanket “conspiracy theory” dismissals that argue these augmented jet trails are nothing more than water vapor condensation.

Instead of blotting out the sun in order to combat global warming, perhaps the real motive is reducing our exposure to sunlight (specifically UVB) which the body manufactures into vitamin D3, which is essential for the body’s overall health.  Other, more sinister programs may now be in use to poison the environment for the purpose of shutting down family operated and organic farms, allowing for the takeover of corporate, pesticide and chemical-dependent GMO food production.  Biological and chemical agents can be sprayed on a population for the purpose of weakening the immune system or causing neurological damage, mental illness, infertility and other afflictions. Perhaps, as Dick Gregory and Prince suggested, certain agents can be sprayed on a population in order to affect our behavior or reduce our numbers.  Or, are such outlandish claims just a means to divert blame for the social ills of the inner city?  Other theories abound, some plausible, some paranoid- including the idea that the trails are being used to cover up views of Nibiru as it approaches planet Earth.  As ridiculous as it sounds, nothing would shock me anymore.

Did Prince die from the “chemtrail flu” or was he killed because he was outspoken about the phenomenon? Apparently neither.  Although Prince had been battling the flu, the toxicology report, released on June 2nd clearly indicated the artist died from an accidental overdose of fentanyl, which is a powerful opioid painkiller “50 times more potent than heroin.”  What was not immediately known is how the drug was obtained.  Those close to Prince acknowledged his long battle with hip pain resulting from years of wild stage performances.  It appears that the artist may have developed an addiction to the drug and was seeking help.  An addiction specialist in California was contacted by Prince’s representatives on April 20th.  Dr. Max Kornfeld of Recovery Without Walls dispatched his son, Andrew Kornfeld to meet with Prince on April 21st to discuss his options; he was present when Prince’s body was discovered by staff.

I suppose we could theorize that someone who wanted Prince dead administered the fatal dose of fentanyl, but there’s no indication that anyone had entered or left the Paisley Park compound the night before- he was alone.  What is perhaps the strangest detail surrounding Prince’s death is the fact that he was discovered in an elevator, which, as many people have pointed out is ironic considering the lyrics to his song, “Let’s Go Crazy”:

… ‘Cause in this life
Things are much harder in the afterworld
In this life
You’re on your own

And if the elevator tries to bring you down
Go crazy
Punch a higher floor! …

… Are we gonna let the elevator
Bring us down?
Oh no let’s go! …

The elevator symbolizes the directions in which a soul might travel in the afterworld- “up” being towards heaven and “down” towards hell.  The idea of an afterworld consisting of different strata or levels is very much a pagan concept which crept into Judaism and Christianity.  It is reflected in the Catholic Church’s teaching on purgatory, which is a place or state that one enters after death in order to achieve purification prior to entering into the full glory of heaven.  It is of little significance that Prince was not Catholic, as the bulk of these beliefs have been a part of popular lore for centuries.  In fact, much of what we tend to believe about the afterworld comes from Dante’s famous work of poetry, The Divine Comedy and is not based on Bible teachings.  The metaphor of the elevator is merely a modernized version of this idea, where different floors represent different levels of the afterworld.  What’s interesting here is the notion that to prevent the elevator from bringing you down, you can “go crazy” and frantically press the “up” button- which seems a little futile once you’re dead.  Perhaps you’ve wondered, as I have, which way was Prince heading?  The basement, the roof or… ladies wear?

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

For men shall be lovers of the their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.

Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good.

Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

[2 Timothy 3: 1-7]

It is worth noting that in my youth I was a huge fan of Prince, in fact, my very first concert was Prince and the Revolution at the Cow Palace in San Francisco during his Purple Rain tour- the height of his success and popularity.  It was 1985 and I was nine years old.  My best friend and I (accompanied by our mothers) sat towards the back and needed binoculars to see the action on stage.  From time to time our moms would snatch the binoculars from us when Prince was squirming around on stage barely clothed or crawling out of a mock bathtub.  We came home with glossy, full-color programs and Purple Rain t-shirts featuring the now iconic image of Prince posing on his customized purple motorcycle.  This of course provoked the envy of our classmates when we wore them to school the following Monday.

When you’re ten years old, you don’t really analyze song lyrics, although we were aware that much of it was taboo.  This was puzzling I guess to our young, impressionable minds, because Prince always seemed to possess a form of godliness.  Prince’s ongoing relationship with the Almighty culminated years later when he became a Jehovah’s Witness in 2001 and renounced his promiscuous lifestyle.  He opposed gay marriage, causing his relationship with the LGBT community and former bandmate Wendy Melvoin to chill.  Again, there is a theme here of recognizing God, in this case, Jehovah (YHWH) or God the Father, but denying the power thereof, which is Jesus Christ.  The Jehovah’s Witnesses deny the Holy Trinity- a triune God comprised of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit; they insist that Jesus was the son of God, not God Himself.  Other beliefs held by the Jehovah’s Witnesses which eschew the significance of Jesus Christ, some believe, disqualify them from the designation “Christian,” but then again, most Christians believe and practice un-Christian things.

So, it is not for me to judge Prince.  At least two of his female protegés, including the late Denise Matthews (Vanity) and Shelia E. became born-again Christians.  Certainly Prince was an intelligent, observant and talented man.  I think ultimately he found a belief system in the JW’s that he was compatible with.  It gave him the structure he needed to grow from a pretentious and narcissistic pop idol to a studious man devoted to God.  But is that good enough?  Clearly his extravagant persona and the music he created in his early career were overflowing with lustful indulgence and sexual perversion, but even in his last musical incarnation, he appeared to be under an occult influence, with the symbolism of the “third eye” dominating his album cover art and stage performances with his backing band, 3RDEYEGIRL.  Being “spiritual” does not equate with salvation in Jesus Christ.  This void may have left our much-adored artist vulnerable in the end.

I fully expect to be criticized for this casual analysis and the argument will be that I am making a big deal out of nothing or that I’m diminishing his spirituality.  And perhaps that is so.  In the larger contexts of popular music or even Rock n’ Roll history, Prince does not stand out as particularly unique in the topics he explores in his songs or his gender-fluid costuming.  The so-called “love symbol” which Prince briefly changed his name to in the late nineties is obviously a combination of the male and female gender symbols.  Again- big deal right?  We have been buffeted by ambiguous gender imagery- especially through the entertainment and fashion industries- for decades now.   We need not single out Prince; it is my opinion that it is the vehicle of popular music that we need to take a deeper look at.

Here on Earth, Prince’s memory will live on as a talented multi-instrumentalist and an electrifying performer.  His most celebrated music defied genre classification.  His religion provided an imperfect framework for his criticism of society.  But Prince’s is a case of stepping out and getting snagged up.  I am not one to question God’s capacity for mercy and forgiveness when the heart is repentant.  And so I pray that Prince Rogers Nelson’s openness to God does not go unnoticed, when many musicians fail to acknowledge God at all, or worse, blatantly bow down to Lucifer, himself the most talented musician among the angels.


This Is A Call (Part Two)

ichabodAs I mentioned in my previous post This Is A Call (Part One), I was baptized in the Catholic Church as a baby and experienced a sorta-Catholic upbringing as a child.  I find it curious that I remember absolutely nothing from my catechism classes, except for being dropped off and picked up.  Was it so traumatic that I blocked it from my memory?

I spent my time as a young adult seeking spiritual enlightenment outside the confines of organized religion.  But, it was my need for confession that called me back to the Catholic Church thirty years later.  By this time, I had inflicted a great deal of emotional and psychological harm to myself and those I loved.  My marriage and my life were crumbling without Jesus.  Breaking down and confessing my sins was a helpful experience, if not a transformative one.

I met monthly with a Jesuit priest for about a year.  His laid-back personality was unexpected, as was his use of the word “bullshit,” as was his personal library, which I recall included a book about Islam and a DVD of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, which he happily lent to my seven-year-old daughter.  Amusing.  None of this sounded an alarm for me.  To the contrary, it made me feel like this whole Catholic thing didn’t have to be so serious.  Here was a Catholic priest no less, who seemed to be an open-minded, regular guy.  I have since learned more about the Society of Jesus and after reading a column this priest wrote recently for the local paper regarding climate change, I view my experience with him in a new light.  I still had my reservations about the Catholic Church and was holding back my complete faith and devotion from God.

My family and I moved to a new town and sampled the local Catholic Church.  The priest was a sincere and gentle Polish man.  He spoke in a meek voice and struggled with his English.  The mass service was very passive.  Having confessed my sins, I was eligible to again receive the sacrament of the Eucharist, which I did.  I was warming up.  I also sought counsel from this priest and, to his credit, he reminded me that all things were possible through Jesus Christ and urged me to pray, in order that my small faith might grow.  He pointed out that a great many saints and even the apostles of Christ lacked faith.

I found myself listening to a variety of radio programs on EWTN, including Catholic Answers Live, which re-familiarized me with the basic tenets of Christianity and Church tradition.  I learned about writer G.K. Chesterton (a Catholic convert) through The Apostle of Common Sense.  I would get excited when I would catch the Fathers of Mercy Hour while running errands in the car.  My mind and spirit was being fed through the impassioned talks about family, marriage, sin, mercy- whatever the topic might be. Essentially, my return to God was supported to a large degree by the Catholic Church.

But as I hungered for more understanding, I was led to a circle of “watchmen” composed of pastors, writers and journalists who were often critical of the Catholic Church, citing non-Biblical practices and their objection to papal authority.  I very quickly found myself in a conflict of faith.  Catholics will insist that the Catholic Church is the original Church founded by Jesus Christ, with Peter serving as first Pope.  Jesus implores us several times in the Gospels to not be deceived.  I had to ask myself, was it the Catholic message I was responding to, or the message of Jesus Christ?  If indeed it was the Holy Spirit guiding me and calling me back, it would make sense that He use the most immediate, effective path to accomplish this.  If we accept that God exists beyond the physical boundaries of time and space and is all-knowing, He can certainly chart that path for us.  For one person that journey might begin with a car accident, for another, a visit from a Mormon missionary, for another, a documentary about Noah.  For me, the Catholic Church was already there.

We mistakenly understand “church” to mean a building where Christians of a particular denomination congregate on Sunday to worship God.  So, Jews call their building a synagogue, Mormons call their building a temple, Muslims call their building a mosque, Jehovah’s Witnesses call their building a kingdom hall, and so on.  What does Jesus mean though, when He talks about His Church? The Greek word ecclesia, often mis-translated as “church” in the New Testament, literally means “congregation” or “assembly.”

And I did consider other churches. I even spoke with an Episcopalian priest, a recovering alcoholic who jokingly described the Episcopal Church as “Catholic Church without the guilt.”  But… I was guilty.  I wondered how one’s guilt could be ignored, when the fundamental requirement for forgiveness and everlasting life- repentance- comes from an admission of guilt?  And what is guilt but an understanding of wrongdoing, which arises from our God-given conscience?  Would I have been better off wandering into a Baptist or Presbyterian church on a whim, asking to be saved?  Why not just go with what I sorta know?  I had to trust that God would meet me where I was at, and take me to where I needed to be.

In the same way that YHWH saw Israel, not as a particular strip of land along the Mediterranean, but as His chosen people, Jesus regards His Church as His people.  The modern nation of Israel is therefore not synonymous with the chosen people and those that show up to worship at 10 a.m. Sunday morning are not necessarily Christ’s people.  Now, maybe my logic isn’t air-tight here, but it seems ridiculous to me that God would consider our particular denomination, or whether we were Catholic or Protestant, or whether we showed up every Sunday, at the time of our judgement.  At that time, God examines the condition of our hearts, whether we were repentant and accepted the gift of salvation from His Son, Jesus and kept His commandments to the best of our ability.

“The one who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me. And the one who loves Me will be loved by My Father.  I also will love him and will reveal Myself to him…

… If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word, My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.”

[John 14: 21, 23]

In addition to calling non-believers, God is calling His faithful servants out of the churches because they preach a compromised Gospel.  To one degree or another, most churches have embraced the wisdom of the world in an effort to be more tolerant and open.  Both Catholic and Protestant churches have become infiltrated and impotent.  For the most part, pastors, priests and parishioners alike are mindlessly going through the motions when they participate in church service, but how many truly love God?  We are called upon to love the Lord with all our heart, soul and mind [Matthew 22:37].  As Christians, we are not to assimilate with the world and blend in, we stand apart as witnesses for Christ.  Dare I say, most Christian congregations are not in alignment with Christ, and that is tragic.  Where the Word is not preached and practiced, the glory of God is not present- ichabod.

enochI understand the Protestant doctrine of sola scriptura, which holds that the only legitimate source of truth can be the Holy Scriptures, but is everything except the Bible beyond consideration?  And I’m not talking about Little Red Riding Hood here, but what about the Book of Enoch, which is mentioned in the Bible [Jude 1:14-15]?  Excerpts from the Book of Enoch were discovered as part of the Dead Sea Scrolls.  The Catholic Church rejects the doctrine of sola scriptura; they contend that there are many Church traditions which date back to the time of Jesus, or the first few centuries after his death and resurrection, which are not specifically outlined in the Bible, so they also rely on the writings of the early Church fathers, etc.  I tend to agree.  For Christians, knowledge of the Bible should absolutely be central to the practice of our faith, but it cannot be the sole source of wisdom.  I have come to believe that God and His principles can be observed in all of Creation, even if not specifically referenced in the Bible, but we must be careful to check our understanding against the Scriptures to ensure there is no contradiction.  Indeed, there are potentially thousands of works of literature or art or music which extol the wisdom of our Lord, and yes, we can wonder in His Creation by spending a day fishing on the lake, but Satan is always attempting to cloud our perception and direct us away from Truth.  That is why we need discernment, to protect us from diluting the Word with secular ideology and polluting the Word with witchcraft, astrology, idolatry and the false religion of the fallen ones.  Discernment is a gift of the Holy Spirit and we can pray for it.

Because the shepherds of the Lord have not been vigilant, the flock has been led astray. Whole denominations have adopted practices that are not only non-Biblical, but are non-Christian.  “Mega-church” is an oxymoron.  The only way to attract hordes of well-wishers to your church building or sell millions of self-help books is to dilute and pollute, preaching a false, new-age gospel which does not call on its adherents to repent of their sins, does not teach about the Blood and Resurrection of Jesus Christ and does not speak of the prophets and Revelation.  Pay attention to the titles of some best-selling books by mega-pastor Joel Osteen: You Can, You Will, The Power of I AM, etc.  Now certainly the Lord wishes for our lives to be enriching, but through Him.  Joel Osteen would like you to believe that if we invoke the name of God, we can attract power and wealth to us.  This is nothing more than witchcraft.  The Lord is not our servant, sent to fetch whatever our heart desires.  We do not pray for material things and worldly influence.  Christians pray for the discernment to recognize where Jesus is directing us.  We are His servants.  The masses flee when they hear the real message of Jesus Christ.  Jesus is not a motivational speaker; His message is not a self-help message, it’s a message of abandoning the self and turning to God.

The prophets spoke of a day when the world would embrace a one-world religion and one-world government, one in which all teachings have value and morality is relative; that monstrosity will be headed up by the Antichrist.  Christians are being primed for this day.  The global governance of the Evil One will seem like an attractive solution to the chaos and destruction set to be loosed on the Earth.  All that God created is being desecrated and Christians are being pressured into accepting it, including sexual perversion of all kinds, idolatry, blasphemy and the corruption and destruction of life.

Jesus never said all paths lead to God, he said the way to eternal life is narrow [Matthew 7:14].  Pope Francis however has boldly proclaimed that Muslims worship the same God as Christians.  How is this possible when Muslims reject the divinity of Jesus Christ?  I was shocked to hear this.  I was shocked to learn also that Muslims were invited to conduct Islamic prayer services inside the Vatican and that the Qur’an is openly being read there.  Excuse me?  In addition, according to Pope Francis, Jesus’ death on the cross was a failure.  Talk about shocking.  Now I understand he means in the earthly realm, in other words, Jesus failed to convince all whom he encountered that he was the Messiah.  But was that the purpose of Jesus being sent to Earth?  No.  Did not God the Father already know that humanity would reject His Son?  Yes.  He was not sent to persuade all to follow Him, He was sent to die for our sins.  It was the apostles who were instructed to spread the Gospel throughout the known world.  This is fundamentally Christian and fundamentally Catholic.  So why is the Pope suggesting that Christ failed in any capacity?  Apparently Christ also failed by excluding extra-terrestrials from salvation when he died for the sins of man- the descendants of Adam and Eve.  Pope Francis said that the Catholic Church would baptize Martians if they ever visited the Vatican, “Who are we to close doors?”  These sorts of statements represent a severe lack of understanding regarding the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and that is frightening for a man of such power and influence.

poprahIs the Pope evil, as in purposefully malicious and deceitful?  I do not think so.  But, he is incredibly gullible and instead of trusting in the Word, he has lent his ear to his cabal of advisers, all of whom are focused on specific political agendas which have nothing, it seems, to do with Jesus Christ.  So, perhaps the Pope himself is not evil, but he is certainly being used by those with evil intentions.  Does the Pope scour the internet at 2 a.m. doing his own research?  No.  Does the Pope study global climate patterns?  No.  Does the Pope study the links between certain vaccines and auto-immune disorders?  No.  Does the Pope even comprehend that “aliens” are demonic in nature, and have not traveled here from distant planets but have been alongside us all along?  Nope.  He consults with his experts, who have been culled from Marxist, atheist and environmentalist circles.  They offer up discussions on current events, popular trends, scientific consensus- the prevailing wisdom of the world- that which is causal and temporary and falling away.  If the Pope really is the vicar of Christ, shouldn’t I expect him to sound a little more like Jesus and a little less like Oprah Winfrey or Deepak Chopra?

We should not be shocked because this has all been forecast.  Last month, the Pope visited the United States and before speaking at the UN, met with the Resident of the White House and spoke before a joint session of Congress and the Supreme Court, not to condemn the recent redefinition of marriage or the seventy-million aborted children since the Roe v. Wade decision, or our nation’s rampant perversion and wickedness, but rather, to push for the UN’s Agenda 2030, which aims to build the platform upon which the Antichrist’s global government will be hoisted.  The deception is multifaceted and orchestrated.  Who can argue with such noble goals as saving the planet from environmental destruction, ending war, poverty, famine and unfairness in every form?  We have lost sight of the fact that only the Lord is capable of just rulership.  Human societies will always be flawed, because human beings are flawed.  The United States, with our Constitution and Bill of Rights may be the closest any human civilization has come to creating a equitable society, but it does not approach the perfection of God’s Kingdom.  The promise of utopia is a lie, as is the idea that salvation will come from our space brothers and their technology.

My need to define myself as a Catholic or Protestant ends in Jesus Christ.  We don’t go to church, we are the Church, assuming we are in alignment with Christ.  God is calling His faithful servants out of the church buildings and into His army, those who reject the wisdom of the world and stand, washed in the Blood of Jesus, to defend the faith.  This is the remnant.  I’m not suggesting people stop attending church services, I am suggesting we start inviting Jesus Christ to attend as well.  There are many who will prefer to sit in their pew, surrounded by those who compliment them on their charity and holiness, allowing gentle messages of comfort and joy to wash over them, drowning out their calling, their mission and their duty as Christians.  These apostate Christians will spearhead the persecution of the remnant Church, by characterizing true followers of Jesus Christ as radical fundies.  When Christianity falls under persecution in America, like in China, the Middle East and other parts of the world (Sweden!  Germany!  France!  Britain!), the Church will go underground.  Christ’s people will continue their worship in small groups in the relative safety of their homes.

“For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

[Matthew 18:20]

Do not be afraid to take your questioning to the Lord as I have done.  The God of the Old Testament is unfairly characterized as a God of wrath and vengeance.  And while YHWH has certainly administered punishment over the millennia, to know Him is to understand His abundant patience and mercy, His perfect justice and His infinite love.  From the Creator’s point of view, He desires His creation to rejoice in Him.  He desires to share His joy with mankind.  He wants us, through our own choosing, to demonstrate our gratitude by worshiping only Him.  We worship by faithfully following His commandments and honoring our covenants with Him.  It is only after the entire seed of mankind was corrupted that God brought forth the Great Flood to destroy all life, spare Noah and his family and a genetic record of all the beasts of the Earth.  Only after repeated pleas for men to turn from their evil ways and rejoin their Creator, does He rain down destruction.  All of Creation rests, not merely on principles of physics, but on the virtues of liberty and righteousness.  This idea is set forth in the very first chapter of Genesis when God says, “Let there be light” [Genesis 1:3].  Because in order for light to exist there first had to be darkness.  It follows that in order for there to be good, there must be evil.  To be alive is to exist in harmony with the Creator, to acquire everlasting life is to join with the Creator, into the light.  To be dead is to exist in opposition to the Creator, to inherit eternal death is to be severed from the Creator and cast into the void.

For a man there can be no greater calling than to be the spiritual head of his family, a faithful husband and loving father.  Now I hear God speak to me.  I feel the Holy Spirit move in me.  It is no mistake, or accident, or coincidence, or delusion… and it all began with a sincere prayer to know Truth.  You can know Him too.


This Is A Call (Part One)

crossThe world encourages us to trust our hearts.  The Bible warns us however that the heart is deceitful and that we should trust in the Lord [Jeremiah 17:9; Proverbs 3:5-6].  Which is better advice?

My mother converted to Catholicism in order to marry my father, who was from a strict Portuguese-Catholic family. When this is done, the Church insists the children be raised Catholic- and there will be children. My parents made an effort at first, enrolling me and my younger sister in catechism classes and reading us Bible stories; they bragged that I could recite the Lord’s Prayer by age two.  I went on to receive my first communion, but then the religious instruction stopped.  Over time our family attended mass less and less.

My growing up was accompanied by a sense of being “set apart.”  It is doubtful to me that this resulted simply from my baptism as an infant, as many others received the same sacrament.  Did God choose me or did I choose Him?  The Bible tells us that God knows each of us, even before conception [Jeremiah 1:5].  I do not presume to say that I am special in any way, but I do recall praying for the truth to be revealed to me.  I rarely accept things as they appear on the surface; I am always careful to examine my own biases and motives, neither wanting to be deceived by myself or any religious authority.  I believe that God has permitted my questioning in order that He might be reproven in the end.  Because my prayers were always to know truth, I was led naturally back to the God of Creation that I have always had a yearning to understand.  With wavering faith, I walked along to this point, where the seeking ends and the mystery deepens.

As a young adult fresh out of high school, I took to recording music and journaling, which soon developed into a poetic form.  I experimented with marijuana as a way to enhance my creativity and communicate with my “higher self,” literally.  My experience was that it aided in removing mental inhibitions. While most of my friends were interested in getting stoned and getting laid, I was introspective; I took my stash back to my room, where I sought to create my own ecosystem, conducive to my late-night writing and recording sessions.  It was almost ritualistic the way I prepared my bong with ice cubes and bottled water.  My room had to be cool, with the window open and ceiling fan humming, lit only by my aquariums and a few candles.  I would burn amber or sandalwood. My music became more abstract, the poetry more stream-of-consciousness.  I experimented with automatic writing and at times believed I was channeling other “intelligences.” I took my sessions into nature, packing a pipe, a lighter, some water, a granola bar, my notebooks and my mini-cassette recorder.  As I hiked along, I would record whatever thoughts, lyrics or musical progressions that came to me.  I brought tobacco and corn meal as an offering to the Earth, for all the insights provided me that day.  I came to believe that nature was God, intrinsically, inseparably- there was nothing supernatural about it.  I had drifted far away from the Church and was heavily steeped in a new-age mysticism of my own concoction.  I felt a sense of peace and comfort, escaping to this other dimension whenever the real world got me down. I would journal through my problems or channel them into my music. It was therapeutic.

I credit my early interest in occult topics to my father, who kept various Time Life and Reader’s Digest volumes around like Mysteries of the Unexplained.  For a kid, I had acquired a fair knowledge of Spiritism, ESP, UFOs, ghosts, time-travel, Bigfoot, etc.  In college I studied cultural anthropology.  I had a curiosity about world religions and ancient civilizations.  One day while browsing a bookstore I liked to frequent, I happened upon a book by Louis T. Culling called The Pristine Yi King, which is Culling’s interpretation of the ancient Chinese I Ching or Book of Changes from the standpoint of a ritual magician.  I suppose it was something about the figures of the hexagrams that grabbed my interest, like a schematic of the universe, I thought.  It wasn’t long before I was waist-deep in the I Ching, Taoism and Zen.  I started my own pen-pal network and newsletter for I Ching enthusiasts and created my own cards for casting the oracle.  I would consult the I Ching frequently for “insight” into life situations.  As I networked and exchanged newsletters with others in the alternative-spirituality community, my interests expanded to include the pre-Christian religions of Europe.  I became attracted to Native American lore, recognizing the similarities in shamanic practice between the ancient peoples of Europe and the Americas.  Being of European ancestry, yet living in North America, it seemed a logical course.  I discovered the trickster tales of Coyote and Iktome as well as the concept of the Medicine Wheel.  I was building a spiritual framework for myself.  Ok, so I was a stoner, equal parts Joseph Campbell and Cat Stevens.  Incredibly though, there was no shortage of books at Barnes & Noble geared specifically for other armchair shamans like myself, presenting a fuzzy synthesis of new-age and neo-pagan beliefs, backed up by very little academic veracity.

I emerged from all this study with a world-view that basically concluded ancient peoples all around the world at one time lived in peace and harmony with the Earth, then Christianity came along and wrecked everything with its doctrines of sin, suffering and salvation.  While I chuckle at my simplistic thinking now, back then it was a very sincere concern of mine.  All the while, I perceived that God was watching over me and that all this knowledge would help me understand His true nature and the purpose of mankind.  I thought, maybe Jesus was misunderstood by the apostles and therefore the message of the Gospel was incorrect.  Or, the Bible was corrupted along the way- something added, something taken away.  Or, some shadowy group of control freaks conspired together to write the books of the Bible as a means to control the masses through fear of damnation, and Abraham, Moses, David, Joseph, Mary, Jesus, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John never really existed.

Despite accumulating all this knowledge, I was hopelessly failing at putting it to good use.  I became melancholy.  I developed a psychological dependence on marijuana.  The increasing responsibilities of work, college and my expanding newsletter began to take their toll.  I was angry.  I was frequently dishonest to cover up my mistakes and inadequacies.  I had neglected my girlfriend, being quite oblivious to the requirements of a relationship.  Then one night, in the midst of our break-up, I had a bad trip.  The stresses of life compounded by my lack of sleep (and one too many bong hits) propelled me into an anxiety attack.  I felt like I was in spiritual danger.  I clutched a silver crucifix that had adorned my grandfather’s casket and pleaded for God to protect me.  I would go to the emergency room that night with heart palpitations.  When I returned home, I attempted to calm down and tell myself that the effects of the marijuana would wear off soon.  I was exhausted, but I resisted the urge to fall asleep for fear I would slip into a coma.  When I finally fell asleep, I had a horrible nightmare:

dog_nightmareI was hiking up in the hills by my home.  This was a familiar location that I hiked to regularly and often stopped there because of the shade to rest and cool down.  There was a small pond there surrounded by trees.  As I approached the pond, I noticed a pack of four or five dogs on the other side.  They were rabidly snarling and snapping at each other as they ripped apart something on the ground- a carcass.  When I came closer to have a look, I realized the carcass was my dead body!  I panicked and started grabbing what I thought were sticks, throwing them at the dogs in desperation until I hit one in the head and they scampered away.  I looked down at my feet and to my horror, I saw that I was picking up bones, not sticks!  In fact, I was standing on piles of human bones!

The nightmare was part of a series of disturbing dreams that night.  For a week, I went about my daily business in what a psychologist would describe as a dissociative state.  I did emerge from this state, but never to be the same again.  Sounds like a ridiculous episode of The 700 Club, you say?  I ditched the I Ching, which proved to be unfathomable, my newsletter, which was expanding into subject matter I had little grasp of, and the marijuana which kept me… stuck.  I focused more heavily on my music for a couple years, until I discovered the internet, which lured me away again into a world of online pagan chats and introduced me to a host of unstable characters, some of which I met “IRL.”  I started smoking marijuana again.  I continued down this lost and lonely road a little further, made a series of bad choices and wound up in a depression again over a couple failed relationships. A buddy of mine who had recently started studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses started sharing their literature with me, but the message felt a little dumbed down for me.  They were able to familiarize me with several basic Bible teachings, but I was not ready to believe.

Soon I would fall in love with my future wife. We separated from the online chat room where we met, as it was quickly degenerating into a den of gossip and debauchery. We chatted online and over the phone for two years before she bravely made the move from Missouri to California to be with me. We soon married and she became pregnant with our daughter.  I was happier than I had ever been in my life, but as marriage inevitably does, all the problems I had sought to escape in my early twenties were exposed.  I had developed an issue with pornography over the years, which worsened in times of stress.  For thirteen years, I hid. I failed to confront my issues with anger, intimacy and honesty, still preferring to escape problems instead of dealing with them.  Years of financial instability, constant moving and ongoing family disputes- but especially my repeated betrayals, including a shameful affair- destroyed my marriage and left my wife in pieces. I felt empty inside too.  I was blessed with a wonderful family, but struggled to connect with them because, essentially, I had lost my connection to the true and living God.

If it were not for my faithful and loving wife, I might have exited the story here. For months I threatened to leave, I acted incredibly selfish and cruel; I was in full recoil.   I once told my wife that she was just holding on to me for fear of being cast into the void. When she asked a nun what she should do to help our marriage, the nun responded by telling her to pray for me, because it was I who was in the void. Despite my reprehensible treatment of my wife, she prayed for me; she prayed for our marriage, through all her fear and pain. Her commitment to our marriage taught me invaluable lessons about faith, sacrifice, trust and love.

In an effort to save my marriage, I went to my first confession and broke down about all my transgressions.  I would meet monthly with the priest who heard my confession, a Jesuit.  I desired spiritual counseling, as opposed to secular, psychological analysis.  The priest was surprisingly down-to-earth and easy to talk with, to a fault; what I really needed was Jesus, not an easy-going priest.  I wanted a moral reprimand; I wanted His love and direction.  I felt I wasn’t getting the help I needed, and was left to fend for myself.

I was drawn to reggae music for a time.  The idea that we were all living under oppression in a figurative Babylon seemed appropriate to living in America circa 2014.  Biblical themes of justice, perseverance and reliance on God run throughout reggae music, with bands frequently incorporating Scripture into their song lyrics.  While I understood the incompatibility of Rastafarianism and Christianity, I overlooked that for the moment and sought to connect with the broader, mystical “Jah” vibe.

Although I felt I was drawing closer to God, my heart was still languishing in sin.  I continued to pray on a regular basis, for strength to defeat my demons and lift up my family.  I did not understand what surrendering to God meant.  It did not mean trying harder, it meant giving up and admitting defeat.  Understanding this was the key to my conversion.  I let go the reins of my life, handed them over to Jesus and said, “Only you can do this.”  Instead of praying for strength, I began to pray for Jesus to transform my heart. He responded. Apparently, He was well aware of my lacking faith and skepticism.  I was working out an intellectual understanding of God and Creation, but I was missing that heart-to-heart relationship with Jesus.  Then, I experienced a visitation while at work:

angel_visitationI work in wood manufacturing.  As I would normally do, I was sorting through wood frame pieces and grading their quality as they scooted toward me on a conveyor belt.  From there I banded the pieces together and stacked the bundles on pallets.  It is fast-paced and repetitive. Often the work becomes automatic and I find myself lost in my thoughts and the music playing in my headphones.  One particular morning around 10 a.m. I noticed the ambient light of my workspace increase dramatically.  Although I did not physically see it, I sensed a presence slightly behind and to the left of me that was very tall, radiating a golden-white light.  I recognized the holiness of this being as it communicated with me, not with words but telepathically, through an “emotional uplink” of sorts.  It is very hard to describe how this communication occurred.  It was like having an intense spotlight on me, a light that burned through all my layers of protection, all my deceptions, all my excuses, from which there is no hiding.  It was overwhelming and frightening but understanding and merciful at the same time.  I was brought to tears. This was a messenger from God- an angel.  I am henceforth convinced!  I received the moral reprimand that I desired and the confirmation that my skeptical mind needed.  This was a communication from God the Father, for it was a spiritual father whom I needed to direct me.  I thought, if this is what it feels like to be in the presence of an angel, how incredible it must feel like in the presence of God Himself.

I developed a hunger for the Word.  I began listening to Catholic radio.  I began reading the Holy Scriptures.  I began seeing the world through new eyes.  It was like I was re-aligning myself with Truth; my questions were being answered; things I failed to understand starting making sense.  I considered returning to the Church with a full confession to receive my confirmation.  Thanks to my wife, I was already listening to The Alex Jones Show regularly and was quickly awakening to the state of the world.  Not only was I transforming in my spirit, but my politics and worldview were changing as well. I recognized that Alex was a Christian.  It was through him that I learned of Steve Quayle, whom he interviewed about Jade Helm back in April.  I gravitated to Steve instantly, and sought out more of his interviews.  I too had gotten swept up in the Ancient Aliens craze, but felt as if the alien explanation was missing something.  After hearing a Steve Quayle interview in which he discussed the fallen angels and Nephilim, everything clicked. I found The Hagmann & Hagmann Report, where Steve is often brought on to speak with Pastor David Lankford, who became another favorite speaker of mine.  I discovered Rick Wiles, Paul McGuire, Nathan Leal and other watchmen, all of whom resonated with me because of their passion for Jesus Christ and in-depth analysis of Scripture and Bible prophecy.  Their general scorn towards the Roman Catholic Church, in particular the Pope and Vatican, has caused me to rethink where I belong within the body of the Church, but I’ll save that discussion for another post, This Is A Call (Part Two).

I abandoned ideas for novels and screenplays I was working on. The focus of this blog shifted.  I have no doubt that it is the Holy Spirit who has acted on me and led me here, pulling me down from the fence and back into camp.  I suppose it is the urgency of our times that is compelling people to decide on which side they fall.  I believe there is a sorting occurring now.  I predict in the coming weeks, months and years, we will experience many surprises as celebrities and other public figures choose sides.  Those we thought were atheist may suddenly proclaim Jesus Christ; those we once thought righteous will come to embrace the Evil One. We will see this sorting amongst our friends and family as well.  Believers will be challenged and faith will be put to the test.

While Christians are looking to science to prove the existence of God, scientists are turning to God for answers.  It is strange that I am being called back to God and the Church at a time when Christians are under attack around the globe and the Catholic Church is headed up by a Pope that seems all too comfortable in the political realm.  I find it ironic that I am returning to God during such a tumultuous time, when it would be far easier to embrace the wind and drift along with the current of the world’s hedonistic, YOLO ideology. Now more than ever, perversion is excused, blasphemy is celebrated and immorality is protected by law. The world today provides a very cozy environment for the unrepentant sinner.

But I know what that spotlight feels like…